A morning in Valencia

There really isn't much to do around here in the morning. Most of the stores, besides the coffee houses, are closed, and I know it's crazy, but coffee is the last thing I want right now. 8 o'clock is way to early for me. The birds aren't even out yet. Anyways, I've decided to sit on a bench that also happens to face a waterfall/ fountain. It's a cheap, romantic getaway for any man who doesn't feel like paying much. If you close your eyes and ignore the sound of the speeding cars in the background, it actually sounds like a real waterfall! There are also a few rose bushes, all so that a man can effortlessly pluck one out and offer to his lady, along with some cheesy, but maybe true, romantic compliment. There's even a small bridge overlooking just as small pond. I probably look like a loser right now, sitting on a bench by myself whilst gazing upon a waterfall. All I need is that single teardrop to fall down my cheek and the scene would be perfect.

I am my own experiment

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life." Herbert Otto

This is why I love adventures.

Isn't that fantastic? A person who has risked himself and dared to become involved with experimenting with his own life, trusting himself. To do this, to experiment with your own life, is very exhilarating, full of joy, full of happiness, full of wonder, and yet it's so frightening. Frightening because you are dealing with the unknown, and you are shaking complacency.

The Animal School

The animals got together in the forest one day and decided to start a school. There was a rabbit, a squirrel, a fish, and an eel, and they formed a Board of Education. The rabbit insisted that running be in the curriculum. The bird insisted that flying be in the curriculum. The fish insisted that swimming be in the curriculum, and the squirrel insisted that perpendicular tree climbing be in the curriculum. They put all these things together and wrote a Curriculum Guide. Then they insisted that ALL of the animals take ALL of the subjects. Although the rabbit was getting an A in running, perpendicular tree climbing was a real problem for him; he kept falling over backwards. Pretty soon he got to be sort of brain damaged, and couldn't run any more. He found that instead of making an A in running, he was now making a C, and, of course, he was always making an F in perpendicular climbing. The bird was really beautiful at flying, but when it came to burrowing in the ground, he couldn't do so well. He kept breaking his beak and wings. Pretty soon he was making a C in flying as well as an F in burrowing, and he had a hellava time with perpendicular tree climbing.
The moral of the story is that the person who was valedictorian was a mentally retarded eel who did everything in a half-way fashion. But the educators were all happy because everyone was taking all of the subjects, and it was called broad-based education.

New Goal(s)

Life is boring and routine. Learn something new every day. Do something new every day.

• life is boring and routine
• wake up --> go to class --> eat --> study --> go to club meeting --> sleep --> do it all again
• same thing every. single. day.
• walk in a circle for four years
• Learn something new every day
• correction: learn new things every day
• new knowledge in class and outside
• someone I don't know
• skills of life
• Do something new every day
• let's keep it PG-13
• socialize with new people
• possibly adventures
• talk to friends I haven't kept in touch with

*Note: actions not limited to items above

I had a dream #3

Last night's dream...
I was arguing with my dad. Arguments are very rare in my life, but this one was very fierce. Dreams tend to be very obscure and blurry, so I couldn't tell whether we were fighting over having the courage to call someone or about a flashlight. At any rate, I stood up to my dad, which is also something I've never done. After our heated fight, I began to cry at how stupid our argument was. Why the hell were we arguing about a trivial item like a flashlight? Were we really going to ruin our relationship over something so minuscule? As tears began to flow from my eyes, I left the room.

When I woke up, it was 9:59 am. I was going to be late for my 10:00 class.

In Geisel Library

Listening to podcasts on how the eye contributes to psychology can eventually become quite boring after the first 10 minutes, so staring out the 7x5 feet windows I currently sit next to can become an amusement to me.
There is an enormous, constantly moving fog that has blanketed the entire campus. It's like God set off a giant fog machine right over this school. Maybe it's the fact that Geisel's design structure was used in the movie, Inception, but staring at the fog provides this sort of mysticism to this place. The fog tumbles and rolls around, bouncing off the many walls that surround this library. If you did not know, Geisel's design structure was used in the third dream level of Inception, the place filled with snow. I can imagine Leonardo DiCaprio running through these very halls and crashing through the windows. Strangely enough, this image make me want to jump out of a window too. So my point is, I am extremely bored. I do not want to study for my biopsychology midterm tomorrow, but I am getting off tangent now.

Laugh at myself

I'm in such a pitiful state right now. I can't tell whether what I feel is stress or depression. It could possibly be both. Starting off the school year with late night chats that went well into the mornings might have not been the wisest thing to do, given that I have 10 a.m. classes almost every day. Fixing this habit, good or bad, seems to be taking it's toll on me. Setting a curfew has been beneficial to me, but waking up at 7 a.m. is something my body has not adjusted to. Being alone in my dorm room is something I simply detest. The solidarity and loneliness this room brings is something I am not comfortable with. The feeling of being, simply put, free is something I long for here, but I cannot. Work needs to be finished, and classes must be studied for thoroughly. How long can I endure this ongoing torture. Look at what I've become, a mumbling fool, full of complaints and whining. I laugh at myself. Where's my mommy? Where is my soft and warm bed? Pathetic. I would spit on myself if my mouth weren't so conveniently attached to my face.

I am praying to God, literally, that I find a way to get through this ordeal. His help is what I desire the most, because there's just no one else I can always rely on..... is there? Migod!! The more I reread this post, I realize just how childish I am. My desire to delete this post is looking very convincing at the moment. Why am I posting this, my inner most thoughts? jeez..... I guess I'll save that for another, adjective-filled post in the near future.