Which one?

So now that it's senior year, I've been invited to a lot more events than last year, which was 0 because I never had the time. But the worst thing happened to me just recently. All of the events I was invited to were placed on the same freeken day. Come on? Really?
So it turns out that I promised a friend that I was going to her band performance long before I was asked to attend these other events. When I was asked to the other events, I had to decline simply because I had already made a promise. By the way, my little rule is that what ever promise I make first comes first. But then it turns out that my grandma's birthday is also on the same day. The way this is unfolding, I may have to attend my grandma's birthday party instead of the performance, making a total of 4 events on the same day.
So now I'm in a pickle. I could either keep my promise and miss my grandma's birthday, or I could be a jerk and break the promise. I'm also pretty sure I've totally ruined someones's dance by now, which makes me feel terrible.

Last Year!

So this is my last year in high school hu? This is finally it? Wow. Life flies by you way too fast. It feels like it was just yesterday when I graduated from middle school. So, that's not my point. My point is that I want my senior to be awesome!  So I've decided to make a list of things I want to do before I move on to college.

• get straight A's
• go to prom
• go to at least one school event other than prom
• go to the beach with friends
• finish college apps early so I can relax :)
• Eat all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ with a bunch of friends and drive that restaurant out of business
• get more involved with church
• improve lost friendships

90%

I've never felt so much like scum. I am the dregs of trash that contain just the stinkiest, smelliest, most rotten piece of trash you have ever seen. Not a pretty picture huh? Every time I think about my relationship with God, I  compare myself to this. I cannot count just how many times I have broken my promises with Him. Quick fact about myself: I hate breaking promises with anybody. But when it comes to God, I have no problem for some reason. I completely hate when I do this, but I keep doing it like a dog that returns to its own vomit.

This retreat was awesome. I became closer to many of my friends but more importantly, closer to God. During the retreat, I felt like I was not giving God my 100%. I had this little feeling that there was this tiny black spot in my heart that read "RESTRICTED". This was the spot where all my broken promises with God were held. This retreat, I had a lot of time to just to think about my problem and ask God for forgiveness. I'm not sure if that spot is completely gone, but it's definitely gotten a lot smaller. I feel like I can move on and give Him all of my praise from now on instead of moping in the mud.