In Geisel Library

Listening to podcasts on how the eye contributes to psychology can eventually become quite boring after the first 10 minutes, so staring out the 7x5 feet windows I currently sit next to can become an amusement to me.
There is an enormous, constantly moving fog that has blanketed the entire campus. It's like God set off a giant fog machine right over this school. Maybe it's the fact that Geisel's design structure was used in the movie, Inception, but staring at the fog provides this sort of mysticism to this place. The fog tumbles and rolls around, bouncing off the many walls that surround this library. If you did not know, Geisel's design structure was used in the third dream level of Inception, the place filled with snow. I can imagine Leonardo DiCaprio running through these very halls and crashing through the windows. Strangely enough, this image make me want to jump out of a window too. So my point is, I am extremely bored. I do not want to study for my biopsychology midterm tomorrow, but I am getting off tangent now.

Laugh at myself

I'm in such a pitiful state right now. I can't tell whether what I feel is stress or depression. It could possibly be both. Starting off the school year with late night chats that went well into the mornings might have not been the wisest thing to do, given that I have 10 a.m. classes almost every day. Fixing this habit, good or bad, seems to be taking it's toll on me. Setting a curfew has been beneficial to me, but waking up at 7 a.m. is something my body has not adjusted to. Being alone in my dorm room is something I simply detest. The solidarity and loneliness this room brings is something I am not comfortable with. The feeling of being, simply put, free is something I long for here, but I cannot. Work needs to be finished, and classes must be studied for thoroughly. How long can I endure this ongoing torture. Look at what I've become, a mumbling fool, full of complaints and whining. I laugh at myself. Where's my mommy? Where is my soft and warm bed? Pathetic. I would spit on myself if my mouth weren't so conveniently attached to my face.

I am praying to God, literally, that I find a way to get through this ordeal. His help is what I desire the most, because there's just no one else I can always rely on..... is there? Migod!! The more I reread this post, I realize just how childish I am. My desire to delete this post is looking very convincing at the moment. Why am I posting this, my inner most thoughts? jeez..... I guess I'll save that for another, adjective-filled post in the near future.