Laugh at myself

I'm in such a pitiful state right now. I can't tell whether what I feel is stress or depression. It could possibly be both. Starting off the school year with late night chats that went well into the mornings might have not been the wisest thing to do, given that I have 10 a.m. classes almost every day. Fixing this habit, good or bad, seems to be taking it's toll on me. Setting a curfew has been beneficial to me, but waking up at 7 a.m. is something my body has not adjusted to. Being alone in my dorm room is something I simply detest. The solidarity and loneliness this room brings is something I am not comfortable with. The feeling of being, simply put, free is something I long for here, but I cannot. Work needs to be finished, and classes must be studied for thoroughly. How long can I endure this ongoing torture. Look at what I've become, a mumbling fool, full of complaints and whining. I laugh at myself. Where's my mommy? Where is my soft and warm bed? Pathetic. I would spit on myself if my mouth weren't so conveniently attached to my face.

I am praying to God, literally, that I find a way to get through this ordeal. His help is what I desire the most, because there's just no one else I can always rely on..... is there? Migod!! The more I reread this post, I realize just how childish I am. My desire to delete this post is looking very convincing at the moment. Why am I posting this, my inner most thoughts? jeez..... I guess I'll save that for another, adjective-filled post in the near future.