HULK MAD!!! RAWWRRR

Today's soccer practice was pretty fun. For once, we actually got to scrimmage each other. :) A little 3 v 3 in the gym does good for your soul.

In the middle of the game, I managed to weave through a couple of players and dribble towards goal. I didn't score, but this got my adrenaline pumping. As I ran back to help defend, a fellow player clipped my foot, which made me fall to the floor. As I got back up, I couldn't believe what had happened to me. Seriously... did he just trip me? WTF MAN! I don't know if it was the adrenaline, but if he was facing me, I probably would of punched him square in the face. Lucky for me, he wasn't facing me, so I slide tackled him instead. After the game, my coach approached me and told me that what my team member was wrong, but I could have gotten a red card for retaliating.

So the moral of the lesson is this: Instead of striking back, stay on the floor and act like you're hurt. That way, you make him feel bad.

WTF

A lot of the times, the Bible sounds like a load of jibberish to me, especially the Old Testament. For instance, in Genesis ch. 5, you can find a list of names: Adam, Sethkenan, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalalel, Jared, Enoch, Methusalah, Lamesh, Noah. If anyone, including me, were to read this list in the Bible, they would most likely skim through the names and move on to the next chapter, however, I have leaned that there is a reason to everything in the Bible.
If you look at the meanings of the names this is what it looks like:

• Adam~ MAN
• Seth~ APPOINTED
• Enosh~ MORTAL
• Kenan~ SORROW
• Mahalalel~ THE BLESSED GOD
• Jared~ SHALL COME DOWN
• Enoch~ PREACHING
• Methusalah~ HIS DEATH SHALL BRING
• Lamesh~ THE DISPAIRING
• Noah~ REST

This still doesn't look like anything, so let's add a couple words and a punctuation mark to the meanings.

• Adam~ MAN (was)
• Seth~ APPOINTED (for)
• Enosh~ MORTAL
• Kenan~ SORROW (, but)
• Mahalalel~ THE BLESSED GOD
• Jared~ SHALL COME DOWN
• Enoch~ PREACHING (that)
• Methusalah~ HIS DEATH SHALL BRING
• Lamesh~ THE DISPAIRING
• Noah~ REST

And there you have it: one of the first prophesies of Jesus' birth and death.

I had a Dream

Last night I had a very odd dream. It was one of those dreams where it leaves you confused and wondering. It might have just been due to my recent fatigue, but this dream is one I shall never forget for a long time.

In this dream, I was at church.

At Young Nak, there was a party

Now, at this party, I met this girl. We started talking, and it eventually carried on for quite a while.

What left me confused was that I kissed this girl, and I liked her.

Who was this girl?

December

I'm really going to hate December. I just have so much work piled on me I feel like I'm gonna go crazy. For some unbeknown reason, every single teacher, except for my band teacher (thank God for band class), decided to assign some kind of project or essay or reading assignment all at the end of December. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! There is something fishy about this and I plan on getting to the bottom of this. Isn't there at least one sensible teacher out there who is willing to sympathize with the pain that we are about to go through? Anyone?...

L for Love

Teenagers have this insatiable desire to date these days.

Maybe insatiable is too strong of a word, but there's a big trend growing these days: I find that more and more teenagers are dating these days. I am not saying that this is a bad thing. I have no problem with people dating the opposite sex. I am just stating what I see.

But the bigger question is "why"? Why is the population of dating teenagers ever increasing? Some say that it's because of peer pressure. Some say that they want to look "cool." Others simply say that hormones are the cause. Here's what I say. I don't have a PhD or doctorates in psychology or biology, but there is one thing I do know for a fact. Humans, everyone, have a craving for intimacy.

If I could say something that would be true for everyone, it would be that everyone has had the desire to be loved or give love. We have been built to love just as our heavenly Father does.Without love we are nothing. We don't function correctly when we do not love. I have seen people who have rejected love and have closed their hearts to others. Honestly, it was not a pretty sight. Sometimes, it scares me, but that's besides the point. 

I find that the problem with love is that it can easily be manipulated. If I said, "___name___, I love you so much" with the most sincere and honest tone, "name" would probably open their heart to me (that's so cute right?). Well, that's how easy it is. With one sentence, anyone can get into your heart and do anything I want with it. With one sentence, I have the potential to break you. Maybe I'm over-exaggerating. There would obviously be conditions that would have to be met before that could actually take place. I would obviously need to have some sort of relationship with "name."

This is why we need to be careful with love. Love a is highly sensitive topic. I believe that teens should not go into dating without firmly learning the dangers of love. You don't date because it is popular. Love is worth more than that.

Faith

You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it? The same with people. For years I would have said that I had perfect confidence in B.R. Then came the moment when I had to decide whether I would or would not trust him with a really important secret. That threw quite a new light on what I called my 'confidence' in him. I discovered that there was no such thing. Only a real risk tests that reality of a belief.

Stuck

So today, I tried writing my UC Prompt 1 essay. I wrote about 1 1/2 paragraphs and then... BAM. I suddenly did not know what to write. I sat at my computer for around 30 minutes, gave up, watched t.v. to try to arouse some inspiration, came back to my computer, and continued this cycle for about 4 hours. I have not written a single sentence since. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. It's driving me crazy. I know what my theme is, but I just can't think of the right words to type. I'm so worried now. If I continue this cycle, I'm not sure if I'm going to finish my essays in time. I feel like my brain is fried. Maybe I just need some sleep. By tomorrow, maybe I'll be able to think of something to write.

Christian Schlock

Christians have a strange tendency to try to baptize everything mundane and make it "Christian."

What if I told you I was my dream to open up a Christian coffee shop? "Jesus Java" I'd call it.
At Jesus Java, you'd be able to get Christian coffee: Salvation Sumatra, Anointed Arabica, and Faithful French Roast. You could get your favorite espresso drinks as well: Mind-of-Christ Mochas, Love-Your-Neighbor Lattes, and, if you weren't in the mood for coffee, you could always try our Charity Chai.
We'd also have our own line of Prayerful Pastries: Bible Bearclaws, Sin-free Cinnamon Rolls, Crucifixion Croissants and Doubting Thomas Donuts- just stick your finger through the hole and believe.
And for those prone to spilling, all of our coffee cups would be printed with "WARNING: NOT AS HOT AS THE LAKE OF FIRE, BUT PRETTY CLOSE."

Christians have a strange tendency to try to baptize everything mundane and make it "Christian." The impulse makes sense to a degree, bit it's ridiculous to a greater degree. Does stamping John 3:16 on a toothbrush make it a Christian toothbrush?
Granted, some of it is cute, innocent and possibly sweet, but there is also a real danger here.
Through this, we ghettoize Christianity. If the world's got something, we've got our own little version tailored perfectly for our cultural subgroup. So the answer is no. Printing John 3:16 on a product does not automatically make it good. By doing this, we produce little of merit and contribute zilch to the greater culture, and our influence- already whittled down to insignificance- dwindles further.

My body aches and my soul is tired, but I keep moving on for you.

The Employee

Imagine a poor, sickly person getting a well-paying job at a company with great health benefits and an unbelievable retirement program. How would that person feel? Saved? Grateful? Motivated? Obligated? All of the above. 

In time, these emotions would probably settle, replaced with the more mundane, day-to-day attitudes of an employee. After all, the company chose him for a reason, even if those reasons are not entirely clear. So, in order to generate the respectful, initial emotions, he attends a meeting once a week to remind him. Sometimes the meetings need music and inspiring speeches to generate the proper emotions---it’s pretty much the same story every week---but generally he leaves with the proper attitudes in place for another work week. 

During the week, however, the attitude of this employee fluctuates depending on the demands of the company and the quality of the continuing benefits. There are no complaints about retirement. That is a sure thing. It’s usually the size of the paycheck or the quality of the health care program that can sometimes create tension between him and the heads of the company. Sometimes the payoff just doesn’t seem equitable to the work. 

Also, the work environment is a challenge. There are definitely some personality conflicts between employees, creating a cliquish mentality. Some receive a higher paycheck or seem to have better health coverage. Others seem completely neglected. It’s not exactly a fair system, but no one is about to complain. The company saved them all, it’s none of their business to stick their noses into the way the company is run. Besides, there is a terrific retirement plan waiting for them. 

Then one day the employee asks an important question: What does this company do? 

The company, as it turns out, installs huge power generators in places that are cut off from civilization, allowing them to have light, resources, and communication. The more the employee grows to understand the work of the company, the less he scrutinizes his paycheck and benefit plan. He has a new motivation to support to the company, work well with the other employees, and get excited about the work. He is also more aggressive against programs that would impede the work, even from within the company. 

The employee is soon noticed and promoted to more interesting work. He is given training in new skills, given more authority, even a staff of his own. For motivation, he simply thinks about the good the company is doing in the world, or even visits some of the places where a new generator is being installed or telephone poles are being planted. 

He still attends the weekly meetings, but not to muster up emotions or get information about the company, he gets plenty of that during the week. No, he goes to encourage the other employees, to show them what they are a part of, and to warn them against the companies and cultures that are trying so hard to stop the work. And he never takes off the uniform.


-John Barnts (the best Bible teacher I've ever had)
Also. Yes. He does make his own parables. How awesome is that right? :D

Man v. Machine

Do you ever feel like you're surrounded and you have no escape? That's how I feel about technology, but more specifically, with computers. Just a couple of minutes ago, I was peacefully studying for my exam. Now I am writing this blog. See what I mean? I have this unquenchable desire to drop whatever I'm doing, run over to the nearest piece of technology, and rapidly press all of it's buttons. It might just be curiosity, but it's getting the better of me. This is just ridiculous.
I think I'm going to go on a computer fast. Until I can control my desire to know who's on AIM, the latest news feed, or someone's status , I don't think I'll be on for a while.
Bye.

Facebook.

GO AWAY!! YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!! ALNALNALSDFJMGVLKAFDMKANMDAFA;LKJ;AF!!!! 

-Love Daniel Kang

10/9/07

I have never talked about this with anyone. I repeat, anyone. However, I believe it is about time to let my thoughts run free like a gazelle in the African wild. 

On the 9th of October, my cousin, Anna, passed away. I loved her very much. She was like a sister to me. I had spent almost my entire childhood with her, and in less than a week, she was gone. It was her obnoxious, yet lovable attitude that always made my day. I could always tell when she was home. She would always scream with joy and run down the stairs to greet everyone. Laughter would always permeate throughout our family as she was always the butt of our jokes. O the great times.

In a sense, she was almost like a role-model to me. She was so unique and so talented. And I, on the other hand, was quiet and without any unique ability. She was everything I ever wanted to be, but she was just so different. Once she was gone, I strove to take her place, but it was just too much. It was like trying to make two magnets of the same polarity stay together. 

My aunt was a complete mess when Anna passed away. Like every other parent, she cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. Once, I overheard her say that she was afraid to go back home. Just the thought of going back to a place where Anna lived a giant chunk of her life was almost too much for my aunt. Seeing this broke me down. I would have easily taken Anna's place. I simply hate people crying. I hate seeing people in pain. In a sense, you could say that I am a sucker for those commercials that appeal to pity.

One day, someone told me that despite, my family's tragedy, I always looked happy. I looked like as if nothing had ever happened. I was completely caught off guard. I never even realized that I was doing this.At school, I had unknowingly put on a mask to hid my pain. Then it suddenly dawned on me that I had been putting on a mask everywhere I went. I always looked happy and without worries.

I still miss her. I really wish she were here right now.

Roasted Peanuts

As I was casually eating my lightly roasted peanuts while doing my homework, I realized that something felt a little off. Did I forget the one homework that would determine my future? Was I supposed to be somewhere? Was I allergic to peanuts? Luckily, it was none of the above. So what then was causing me this unanswerable distress? As random as it sounds, I realized that it was my grades that was making me worry. Throughout my high school career, I've been able to get nearly straight A's, with an occasional -A or B, with relative ease. Currently, I have, I believe, three B's and four A's. I am aware that it could be worse, but this is not my goal.  It's senior year, so theoretically, it should be easier or the same as junior year. I don't even think I have senioritis yet (hopefully I don't). This may possibly make me sound fatter than I really am, metaphorically of course, but this is a serious issue. I will not end my high school year ending poorly. I also forgot to mention that I have a bet on the line. I get a very good reward if I get straight A's! :)

Which one?

So now that it's senior year, I've been invited to a lot more events than last year, which was 0 because I never had the time. But the worst thing happened to me just recently. All of the events I was invited to were placed on the same freeken day. Come on? Really?
So it turns out that I promised a friend that I was going to her band performance long before I was asked to attend these other events. When I was asked to the other events, I had to decline simply because I had already made a promise. By the way, my little rule is that what ever promise I make first comes first. But then it turns out that my grandma's birthday is also on the same day. The way this is unfolding, I may have to attend my grandma's birthday party instead of the performance, making a total of 4 events on the same day.
So now I'm in a pickle. I could either keep my promise and miss my grandma's birthday, or I could be a jerk and break the promise. I'm also pretty sure I've totally ruined someones's dance by now, which makes me feel terrible.

Last Year!

So this is my last year in high school hu? This is finally it? Wow. Life flies by you way too fast. It feels like it was just yesterday when I graduated from middle school. So, that's not my point. My point is that I want my senior to be awesome!  So I've decided to make a list of things I want to do before I move on to college.

• get straight A's
• go to prom
• go to at least one school event other than prom
• go to the beach with friends
• finish college apps early so I can relax :)
• Eat all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ with a bunch of friends and drive that restaurant out of business
• get more involved with church
• improve lost friendships

90%

I've never felt so much like scum. I am the dregs of trash that contain just the stinkiest, smelliest, most rotten piece of trash you have ever seen. Not a pretty picture huh? Every time I think about my relationship with God, I  compare myself to this. I cannot count just how many times I have broken my promises with Him. Quick fact about myself: I hate breaking promises with anybody. But when it comes to God, I have no problem for some reason. I completely hate when I do this, but I keep doing it like a dog that returns to its own vomit.

This retreat was awesome. I became closer to many of my friends but more importantly, closer to God. During the retreat, I felt like I was not giving God my 100%. I had this little feeling that there was this tiny black spot in my heart that read "RESTRICTED". This was the spot where all my broken promises with God were held. This retreat, I had a lot of time to just to think about my problem and ask God for forgiveness. I'm not sure if that spot is completely gone, but it's definitely gotten a lot smaller. I feel like I can move on and give Him all of my praise from now on instead of moping in the mud.

To Do List

So retreat is coming up really fast now and I'm really, really excited to go because it is going to be my last summer retreat in High School, but hopefully not my last retreat. But it's not Friday yet and I have a lot of things to do before school starts YAY.  So I'm writing a TO DO LIST, that I hope to finish by Friday, in order to keep myself accountable.

• memorize Preamble
• memorize thirty-two court cases
• memorize the twenty-seven Amendments
• be familiar with the Articles in the Constitution
• review and study chapters one and two in Government book
• memorize fifty-five language terms
• review Grapes of Wrath and The Great Gatsby for the test

Crazy Little Demons

So this summer I started working officially working at my mom's summer school. Now I actually get paid for teaching little kids how to add, multiply, and write neatly. This sounds like an easy task right? WRONG!

On Sunday, some SMT Korea team members gave their testimony on how God affected their lives through the trip, and one thing I noticed about the testimonies was that it always talked about how crazy the little kids were. I was like, "Oh ya. I can totally relate." Then they talked about how the kids opened up to them and now they love them, and I totally understand that, being that I've been to SMT Korea twice.

Kids are the craziest little monsters that ever walked the earth. I realized that to deal with them, you need a Godly amount of patience. And I emphasize "Godly". The kids at SMT Korea opened up, but these are not SMT Korean kids. These are kids that do not want to be learning anything over the summer and who will not do anything unless they are screamed at. And I really hate screaming at kids. That's when I get really ugly, and I don't think anyone has ever seen me angry before.

I've known a lot of these kids for a while, but they don't see me as Teacher Daniel. They see me as Daniel or DK. They think I'm their friend; but come on, they are here to get ahead of everyone else and I don't want their parent's money to go to waste. Am I just being too nice? Is the only way to deal with kids to yell at them? Really? I don't want to believe that, but I am slowly starting to give in.

Who am I?

First off, I don't know why I am making one of these. Maybe it's because reading other people's blogs is fun. Or maybe it's because I feel that I really need somewhere to vent and let go of life's problems. 

Recently, I've been thinking about my future and I've come to the conclusion that I am really don't know what I'm going to do. All my life, I've taken orders from my parents. "Go to this place" or "do this". Because of that I've developed this mentality that I can go where ever life leads me. I don't have to do anything. Everything I need will eventually come to me. I couldn't be any more wrong. Because of this thinking, I've been left in the dust while everyone around me speeds off to success. This is my senior year. What am I going to do? I just have one year to catch up to everyone.

Now I have to work doubley (not sure if that's a word) hard to catch up. I need to dream big. I need to take the initiative. I need to grow up. But I also need to ask God if what I'm doing is the right thing to do. I know many people who have experienced midlife crisis' and I am determined that I am not going to be one of those people. My favorite bible teacher showed our class this diagram: 

BELIEFS-----------> OPTIONS--------------> CHOICE

People who realize that they do not like their career, for example, always go back to their options. When their choice turns out to be something that they don't like, they go back and pick another option. But they should be going back to their beliefs. Options that are not God-centered are likely to feel like hell. I don't want to feel hell.

I feel better now. :)